Created
November 11, 2014 15:45
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Win98's source code
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/* | |
* TOP SECRET Microsoft® Code | |
* Project: ItsReallyChicagoEvenThoughWeSayOtherwise™ | |
* Projected release-date: Summer 1998 | |
*/ | |
#include "win31.h" | |
#include "win95.h" | |
#include "mac os 9.h" | |
#include "evenmore.h" | |
#include "oldstuff.h" | |
#include "viruses.h" | |
#include "8762234555_Funny_ERRORmsg" | |
#define INSTALL VERYHARD | |
char make_prog_look_big[16000000]; | |
void main() | |
{ | |
if (detect_cache()) | |
disable_cache(); | |
if (fast_cpu()) | |
{ | |
set_wait_states(lots); | |
mouse.setSpeed(very_slow); | |
mouse.setAction(jumpy); | |
mouse.setReaction(RANDOM); | |
mouse.setFuckUps(RANDOM); | |
} | |
while(!CRASHED) | |
{ | |
display_copyright_message(); | |
display_BSOD_loop(); | |
do_nothing_loop(); | |
if (first_time_installation) | |
{ | |
make_1_megabyte_swapfile(); | |
do_nothing_loop(); | |
totally_screw_up_EXT2_file_system(); | |
Screw_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS2(); | |
kill_loads_of_penguins_and_fuck_up_linux(NULL); | |
hang_system(); | |
} | |
write_something(bill_gates_msg_to_your_mother); | |
display_copyright_message(); | |
do_nothing_loop(); | |
do_some_stuff(); | |
if (still_not_crashed) | |
{ | |
display_copyright_message(); | |
do_nothing_loop(); | |
basically_run_windows_3.1(); | |
do_nothing_loop(); | |
do_nothing_loop(); | |
} | |
} | |
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */ | |
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */ | |
printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); | |
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 2000"); */ | |
/* printf("Welcome to Windows XP"); */ | |
/* printf("Welcome to Windows Vista"); */ | |
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 7"); */ | |
if (system_ok()) | |
crash(to_dos_prompt); | |
else | |
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE); | |
while(something) | |
{ | |
printf("Insert Windows 98 install CD into CD-ROM drive!") | |
sleep(5); | |
get_user_input(); | |
sleep(5); | |
act_on_user_input(); | |
sleep(5); | |
annoy_user(); | |
} | |
if (still_not_annoyed) | |
{ | |
create_system_backup(); | |
hang_system(); | |
} | |
if (create_system_backup) | |
{ | |
create_system_backup(); | |
randomize_backup_file(); | |
} | |
create_general_protection_fault(); | |
while (keyboard_status == notpresent) | |
{ | |
printf("Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue."); | |
} | |
} |
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How is WIN 98 one FILE?????????????????????????