Here is what I learned about unity skinned meshes and blendshapes and how they are dealt with on the GPU.
I use Nvidia Nsight Graphics to profile performance and read buffer sizes on GPU. Performance numbers are for a 4090 clocked at 2310 MHz core and stock memory. Unity version is 2019.4.31f1
For Unity 2019 Split meshes with blendshapes into two meshes, one for blendshapes and one without.
This does not help much with the memory usage, but it does help a lot with performance. The only VRAM savings is one less copy of POSITION, NORMAL, TANGENT.
For Unity 2021+ merge skinned meshes regardless of if they have blendshapes. No more extra copies and it always uses a fast compute shader now for the bone skinning.