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Created August 28, 2026 13:26
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/* =============================================================================
FEYNMAN'S STOPWATCHES IN T-SQL — complete setup + verification script
Run top to bottom in SSMS against a scratch database. Creates everything the
four demonstrations need, seeded so the output matches the tables in the
article.
REQUIRES: SQL Server 2022 (16.x) or Azure SQL, for STRING_SPLIT's third
argument (enable_ordinal). Version check is step 0.
Database compatibility level must be 160 or higher.
NOTE: two separate corpora, deliberately.
dbo.LogMessages -> text-mining demos (§2, §3)
dbo.ApplicationLogs-> Grover demo (§4), needs exactly 16 rows
============================================================================= */
-- =============================================================================
-- 0. VERSION CHECK — run this first, on its own
-- =============================================================================
SELECT
ProductVersion = SERVERPROPERTY('ProductVersion'),
ProductLevel = SERVERPROPERTY('ProductLevel'),
Edition = SERVERPROPERTY('Edition'),
CompatLevel = (SELECT compatibility_level FROM sys.databases WHERE name = DB_NAME()),
OrdinalSupported = CASE WHEN CAST(SERVERPROPERTY('ProductMajorVersion') AS INT) >= 16
AND (SELECT compatibility_level FROM sys.databases WHERE name = DB_NAME()) >= 160
THEN 'YES' ELSE 'NO — see note below' END;
GO
/* If OrdinalSupported = NO you have two options:
a) ALTER DATABASE <db> SET COMPATIBILITY_LEVEL = 160; (if on 2022+)
b) use the DelimitedSplit8K tally splitter instead — replace every
STRING_SPLIT(x, ' ', 1) with dbo.tvf_SplitOrdered(x, ' ') and swap
s.ordinal for s.Ordinal, s.value for s.Value.
*/
-- =============================================================================
-- 1. SCHEMA
-- =============================================================================
IF OBJECT_ID('dbo.Account_Security_Status','U') IS NOT NULL DROP TABLE dbo.Account_Security_Status;
IF OBJECT_ID('dbo.LinkedAccountRegistry','U') IS NOT NULL DROP TABLE dbo.LinkedAccountRegistry;
IF OBJECT_ID('dbo.LocalQuantumRegister','U') IS NOT NULL DROP TABLE dbo.LocalQuantumRegister;
IF OBJECT_ID('dbo.ApplicationLogs','U') IS NOT NULL DROP TABLE dbo.ApplicationLogs;
IF OBJECT_ID('dbo.LogMessages','U') IS NOT NULL DROP TABLE dbo.LogMessages;
IF OBJECT_ID('dbo.StopWords','U') IS NOT NULL DROP TABLE dbo.StopWords;
GO
-- Text-mining corpus (§2 and §3)
CREATE TABLE dbo.LogMessages (
LogID INT IDENTITY(1,1) PRIMARY KEY,
Description VARCHAR(200) NOT NULL
);
-- Grover corpus (§4) — needs a power-of-two row count
CREATE TABLE dbo.ApplicationLogs (
LogID INT IDENTITY(1,1) PRIMARY KEY,
LogCode VARCHAR(20) NOT NULL,
Description VARCHAR(100) NOT NULL
);
-- Reference list, used only to SCORE the coherence demo, never to filter it
CREATE TABLE dbo.StopWords (Word VARCHAR(50) PRIMARY KEY);
CREATE TABLE dbo.LocalQuantumRegister (
PathID INT PRIMARY KEY,
BinaryString VARCHAR(32) NOT NULL,
Amplitude FLOAT NOT NULL,
Probability AS (SQUARE(Amplitude)) PERSISTED
);
CREATE TABLE dbo.LinkedAccountRegistry (
PairID INT IDENTITY(1,1) PRIMARY KEY,
Account_Alpha VARCHAR(20) NOT NULL,
Account_Omega VARCHAR(20) NOT NULL,
LinkStrength DECIMAL(5,4) NOT NULL
);
CREATE TABLE dbo.Account_Security_Status (
AccountID VARCHAR(20) PRIMARY KEY,
OperationalState NVARCHAR(40) NOT NULL DEFAULT N'Active Normal',
LastSecurityUpdate DATETIME2(3) NOT NULL DEFAULT SYSUTCDATETIME()
);
GO
-- =============================================================================
-- 2. SEED DATA
-- The six messages below are the exact corpus behind the §3 coherence table.
-- No punctuation, single spaces — so STRING_SPLIT ordinals line up cleanly.
-- =============================================================================
INSERT INTO dbo.LogMessages (Description) VALUES
('the connection to the database was refused and the retry also failed'),
('the worker process terminated and the supervisor restarted the worker'),
('database connection pool exhausted the pool could not allocate a connection'),
('authentication failed for the user and the session was closed'),
('the cache miss rate increased and the cache eviction policy was applied'),
('disk space exhausted on the primary volume and the write was rejected');
-- Exactly 16 rows. Three match 'ERR%'. Both facts matter for the Grover maths.
INSERT INTO dbo.ApplicationLogs (LogCode, Description) VALUES
('ERR_404','Page Not Found'), ('ERR_500','Internal Server Error'),
('ERR_403','Access Denied Forbidden'), ('SYS_INIT','System Initialization Success'),
('DB_CONN','Database Connection Established'), ('AUTH_FAIL','User Authentication Failed'),
('CRIT_OOM','Critical Out of Memory Warning'), ('NET_TIMEOUT','Network Request Timed Out'),
('DISK_FULL','Storage Space Exhausted'), ('API_FAIL','External API Gateway Unresponsive'),
('SEC_BREACH','Unusual Login Location Detected'),('CACHE_MIS','Redis Cache Miss Occurred'),
('QUE_OVER','Message Queue Overflowing'), ('DATA_CORR','Data Corruption Detected'),
('FILE_MISS','Configuration File Missing'), ('PROC_DEAD','Worker Process Terminated');
INSERT INTO dbo.StopWords (Word) VALUES
('the'),('and'),('was'),('to'),('for'),('on'),('a'),('not'),('also'),('could');
INSERT INTO dbo.LinkedAccountRegistry (Account_Alpha, Account_Omega, LinkStrength) VALUES
('ACC_1000','ACC_1050',0.98), -- A links to B
('ACC_1050','ACC_1120',0.95), -- B links to C <- the second hop
('ACC_1015','ACC_1290',0.99); -- separate component, should stay untouched
INSERT INTO dbo.Account_Security_Status (AccountID) VALUES
('ACC_1000'),('ACC_1050'),('ACC_1120'),('ACC_1015'),('ACC_1290');
GO
-- =============================================================================
-- 3. §2 — SPLIT EVERYTHING FIRST
-- =============================================================================
SELECT l.LogID, s.ordinal AS Pos, LOWER(s.value) AS Token
FROM dbo.LogMessages AS l
CROSS APPLY STRING_SPLIT(l.Description, ' ', 1) AS s
WHERE s.value <> ''
ORDER BY l.LogID, Pos;
GO
-- Positional bigrams
WITH Tokens AS (
SELECT l.LogID, s.ordinal AS Pos, LOWER(s.value) AS Token
FROM dbo.LogMessages AS l
CROSS APPLY STRING_SPLIT(l.Description, ' ', 1) AS s
WHERE s.value <> ''
)
SELECT a.Token + ' ' + b.Token AS Bigram, COUNT(*) AS Frequency
FROM Tokens AS a
JOIN Tokens AS b ON b.LogID = a.LogID AND b.Pos = a.Pos + 1
GROUP BY a.Token, b.Token
HAVING COUNT(*) > 1
ORDER BY Frequency DESC;
GO
-- =============================================================================
-- 4. §3 — THE STOPWATCHES
-- =============================================================================
CREATE OR ALTER FUNCTION dbo.tvf_TokenCoherence (@Period FLOAT)
RETURNS TABLE
AS
RETURN
WITH Tokens AS (
SELECT l.LogID, s.ordinal AS Pos, LOWER(s.value) AS Token
FROM dbo.LogMessages AS l
CROSS APPLY STRING_SPLIT(l.Description, ' ', 1) AS s
WHERE s.value <> ''
)
SELECT
t.Token,
Occurrences = COUNT(*),
Re = SUM(COS(2.0 * PI() * t.Pos / @Period)),
Im = SUM(SIN(2.0 * PI() * t.Pos / @Period)),
Intensity = SQUARE(SUM(COS(2.0 * PI() * t.Pos / @Period)))
+ SQUARE(SUM(SIN(2.0 * PI() * t.Pos / @Period))),
Coherence = (SQUARE(SUM(COS(2.0 * PI() * t.Pos / @Period)))
+ SQUARE(SUM(SIN(2.0 * PI() * t.Pos / @Period))))
/ NULLIF(SQUARE(CAST(COUNT(*) AS FLOAT)), 0)
FROM Tokens AS t
GROUP BY t.Token;
GO
/* EXPECTED (§3 table). 'the' occurs 13 times and should collapse to ~0.0308.
'database' should sit at ~0.0000 — the false negative discussed in the article. */
SELECT Token, Occurrences,
Coherence = CAST(Coherence AS DECIMAL(6,4))
FROM dbo.tvf_TokenCoherence(8.0)
WHERE Occurrences >= 2
ORDER BY Coherence DESC;
GO
/* The fix: average intensity across a spectrum of periods.
EXPECTED: function words ~0.1960, content words ~0.5141 */
WITH Periods(P) AS (
SELECT * FROM (VALUES (3.0),(4.0),(5.0),(6.0),(7.0),(8.0),(9.0),(10.0),(11.0),(12.0)) v(P)
),
Spectrum AS (
SELECT c.Token, c.Occurrences, c.Coherence
FROM Periods AS p
CROSS APPLY dbo.tvf_TokenCoherence(p.P) AS c
),
MeanCoh AS (
SELECT Token, Occurrences = MAX(Occurrences),
MeanCoherence = AVG(Coherence)
FROM Spectrum GROUP BY Token
)
SELECT Token, Occurrences,
MeanCoherence = CAST(MeanCoherence AS DECIMAL(6,4)),
WordClass = CASE WHEN EXISTS (SELECT 1 FROM dbo.StopWords s WHERE s.Word = m.Token)
THEN 'function' ELSE 'content' END
FROM MeanCoh AS m
WHERE Occurrences >= 2
ORDER BY MeanCoherence DESC;
GO
-- The separation, as a single number
-- NOTE: the WordClass expression cannot live in the GROUP BY list, because T-SQL
-- forbids subqueries there (Msg 144) even though the same expression is legal in
-- SELECT. Materialise the classification in a CTE first and group on the column.
WITH Periods(P) AS (
SELECT * FROM (VALUES (3.0),(4.0),(5.0),(6.0),(7.0),(8.0),(9.0),(10.0),(11.0),(12.0)) v(P)
),
MeanCoh AS (
SELECT c.Token, Occurrences = MAX(c.Occurrences), MeanCoherence = AVG(c.Coherence)
FROM Periods AS p CROSS APPLY dbo.tvf_TokenCoherence(p.P) AS c
GROUP BY c.Token
),
Classified AS (
SELECT m.Token, m.Occurrences, m.MeanCoherence,
WordClass = CASE WHEN s.Word IS NULL THEN 'content' ELSE 'function' END
FROM MeanCoh AS m
LEFT JOIN dbo.StopWords AS s ON s.Word = m.Token
WHERE m.Occurrences >= 2
)
SELECT WordClass,
Tokens = COUNT(*),
MeanCoherence = CAST(AVG(MeanCoherence) AS DECIMAL(6,4))
FROM Classified
GROUP BY WordClass;
GO
-- =============================================================================
-- 5. §4 — AMPLITUDE AMPLIFICATION
-- =============================================================================
CREATE OR ALTER PROCEDURE dbo.usp_SimulateGroverSearch
@SearchPattern VARCHAR(20)
AS
BEGIN
SET NOCOUNT ON;
DECLARE @TotalPaths INT, @MatchCount INT, @Bits INT = 0;
DECLARE @DataMap TABLE (
PathID INT IDENTITY(0,1) PRIMARY KEY,
LogID INT NOT NULL,
LogCode VARCHAR(20) NOT NULL,
IsTarget BIT NOT NULL DEFAULT 0
);
INSERT INTO @DataMap (LogID, LogCode)
SELECT LogID, LogCode FROM dbo.ApplicationLogs ORDER BY LogID;
-- The "oracle": a full scan that has already found every target.
-- Everything below is amplitude theatre.
UPDATE @DataMap SET IsTarget = 1 WHERE LogCode LIKE @SearchPattern;
SELECT @TotalPaths = COUNT(*), @MatchCount = SUM(CAST(IsTarget AS INT)) FROM @DataMap;
IF @MatchCount IS NULL OR @MatchCount = 0
THROW 50001, 'No rows matched the search pattern.', 1;
-- Bit width by integer doubling. LOG(n,2) is float and can land on 4.0000000001,
-- which CEILING would round to 5. Don't use it here.
WHILE POWER(2, @Bits) < @TotalPaths SET @Bits += 1;
DECLARE @Raw FLOAT = FLOOR((PI() / 4.0) * SQRT(@TotalPaths * 1.0 / @MatchCount));
DECLARE @Iterations INT = CASE WHEN @Raw < 1 THEN 1 ELSE CAST(@Raw AS INT) END;
TRUNCATE TABLE dbo.LocalQuantumRegister;
-- Binary addresses via bit extraction. CONVERT(..., 2) gives HEX, not binary.
-- Must be a CROSS JOIN + GROUP BY, not a correlated subquery: an aggregate
-- containing an outer reference may not reference any other column (Msg 8124).
;WITH Bits AS (
SELECT TOP (@Bits) B = CAST(ROW_NUMBER() OVER (ORDER BY (SELECT NULL)) - 1 AS INT)
FROM sys.all_objects
)
INSERT INTO dbo.LocalQuantumRegister (PathID, BinaryString, Amplitude)
SELECT m.PathID,
STRING_AGG(CAST((m.PathID / POWER(2, b.B)) % 2 AS CHAR(1)), '')
WITHIN GROUP (ORDER BY b.B DESC),
1.0 / SQRT(@TotalPaths * 1.0)
FROM @DataMap AS m
CROSS JOIN Bits AS b
GROUP BY m.PathID;
DECLARE @Loop INT = 1, @Avg FLOAT;
WHILE @Loop <= @Iterations
BEGIN
UPDATE q SET q.Amplitude = -q.Amplitude -- phase oracle
FROM dbo.LocalQuantumRegister AS q
JOIN @DataMap AS m ON m.PathID = q.PathID
WHERE m.IsTarget = 1;
SELECT @Avg = AVG(Amplitude) FROM dbo.LocalQuantumRegister;
UPDATE dbo.LocalQuantumRegister -- invert about the mean
SET Amplitude = (2.0 * @Avg) - Amplitude;
SET @Loop += 1;
END
SELECT [Path] = m.PathID,
[Address] = q.BinaryString,
[Probability_Pct] = CAST(ROUND(q.Probability * 100, 2) AS DECIMAL(6,2)),
[Discovered_Key] = l.LogCode,
[Was_Marked] = m.IsTarget,
[Iterations] = @Iterations
FROM dbo.LocalQuantumRegister AS q
JOIN @DataMap AS m ON m.PathID = q.PathID
JOIN dbo.ApplicationLogs AS l ON l.LogID = m.LogID
ORDER BY q.Probability DESC;
-- Sanity: probabilities must sum to 1.0
SELECT TotalProbability = CAST(SUM(Probability) AS DECIMAL(10,8))
FROM dbo.LocalQuantumRegister;
END;
GO
/* EXPECTED: 3 rows at 31.64%, 13 rows at 0.39%, 1 iteration, total = 1.00000000 */
EXEC dbo.usp_SimulateGroverSearch @SearchPattern = 'ERR%';
GO
-- =============================================================================
-- 6. §6 — CONTAINMENT CASCADE
-- =============================================================================
CREATE OR ALTER TRIGGER TR_FraudContainment_Cascade
ON dbo.Account_Security_Status
AFTER UPDATE
AS
BEGIN
SET NOCOUNT ON;
IF NOT UPDATE(OperationalState) RETURN;
DECLARE @Flagged TABLE (AccountID VARCHAR(20) PRIMARY KEY);
INSERT INTO @Flagged (AccountID)
SELECT i.AccountID
FROM inserted AS i
JOIN deleted AS d ON d.AccountID = i.AccountID
WHERE i.OperationalState LIKE N'%CRITICAL FRAUD ALERT%'
AND d.OperationalState <> i.OperationalState;
IF NOT EXISTS (SELECT 1 FROM @Flagged) RETURN;
DECLARE @Edges TABLE (Src VARCHAR(20), Dst VARCHAR(20), PRIMARY KEY (Src, Dst));
INSERT INTO @Edges (Src, Dst)
SELECT Account_Alpha, Account_Omega FROM dbo.LinkedAccountRegistry
UNION
SELECT Account_Omega, Account_Alpha FROM dbo.LinkedAccountRegistry;
DECLARE @Reach TABLE (AccountID VARCHAR(20) PRIMARY KEY);
INSERT INTO @Reach SELECT AccountID FROM @Flagged;
DECLARE @Added INT = 1;
WHILE @Added > 0 -- once per hop, not once per row
BEGIN
INSERT INTO @Reach (AccountID)
SELECT DISTINCT e.Dst
FROM @Edges AS e
JOIN @Reach AS r ON r.AccountID = e.Src
WHERE NOT EXISTS (SELECT 1 FROM @Reach x WHERE x.AccountID = e.Dst);
SET @Added = @@ROWCOUNT;
END
UPDATE a
SET a.OperationalState = N'LINKED ACCOUNT FREEZE',
a.LastSecurityUpdate = SYSUTCDATETIME()
FROM dbo.Account_Security_Status AS a
JOIN @Reach AS r ON r.AccountID = a.AccountID
WHERE NOT EXISTS (SELECT 1 FROM @Flagged f WHERE f.AccountID = a.AccountID)
AND a.OperationalState = N'Active Normal';
END;
GO
/* EXPECTED: ACC_1050 freezes (one hop) AND ACC_1120 freezes (two hops).
ACC_1015 and ACC_1290 stay Active Normal — different component.
Two hops is the test the single-hop version fails. */
SELECT 'Before' AS Timeline, AccountID, OperationalState FROM dbo.Account_Security_Status ORDER BY AccountID;
UPDATE dbo.Account_Security_Status
SET OperationalState = N'CRITICAL FRAUD ALERT'
WHERE AccountID = 'ACC_1000';
SELECT 'After' AS Timeline, AccountID, OperationalState, LastSecurityUpdate
FROM dbo.Account_Security_Status ORDER BY AccountID;
GO
/* Atomicity check — the property that was worth having all along.
Everything below reverts, freezes included. */
BEGIN TRANSACTION;
UPDATE dbo.Account_Security_Status SET OperationalState = N'Active Normal';
UPDATE dbo.Account_Security_Status
SET OperationalState = N'CRITICAL FRAUD ALERT' WHERE AccountID = 'ACC_1000';
SELECT 'Inside txn' AS Timeline, AccountID, OperationalState FROM dbo.Account_Security_Status;
ROLLBACK TRANSACTION;
SELECT 'After rollback' AS Timeline, AccountID, OperationalState FROM dbo.Account_Security_Status;
GO
/* Multi-row test — the bug that bites in a real incident.
Flag two accounts in ONE statement. Both cascades must run. */
UPDATE dbo.Account_Security_Status SET OperationalState = N'Active Normal';
UPDATE dbo.Account_Security_Status
SET OperationalState = N'CRITICAL FRAUD ALERT'
WHERE AccountID IN ('ACC_1000','ACC_1015');
SELECT 'Multi-row' AS Timeline, AccountID, OperationalState
FROM dbo.Account_Security_Status ORDER BY AccountID;
-- EXPECTED: all five accounts affected. Nothing left as 'Active Normal'.
GO
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