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Created March 30, 2026 15:26
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Gist Story Ranker: Weighted Sonnet Scoring (424 clusters, 2026-03-30)

Gist Story Ranker: Weighted Sonnet Scoring Report

Generated: 2026-03-30 Clusters Scored: 424 / 1,807 (23.5%)

Weighted Scoring Formula

Positive Criteria (17.5 base points)

Weight Question
1.5 q1: "Wait, what?" double-take reaction
1.5 q2: Absurdist surface with real substance
1.0 q3: Lazy narrative that can be challenged
1.0 q4: Second-order effects ignored
2.0 q5: Language/framing/etymology angle
1.0 q6: Expert could illuminate
1.0 q7: Pesca position would surprise
1.0 q8: Quirky bureaucracy/satire
2.0 q9: Science meets absurdity
1.5 q10: International US culture adaptation
1.0 q11: Niche subculture spotlight
1.0 q12: Comedy/stand-up/media craft
1.0 q13: Sports history/what-if/gambling
1.0 q14: Tribal framing to invert
1.0 q15: Polarizing issue + nuance/data

Red Flags (subtract if true)

Weight Question
-1.0 q16: Exists only to make readers feel bad
-1.0 q17: Pure breaking news without angle
-1.0 q18: Partisan outrage bait
-1.0 q19: Doom-and-gloom without uplift

Bonus Questions (3 points each)

Weight Question
3.0 q20: Local story = national microcosm
3.0 q21: Trade publication unconventional angle
3.0 q22: One political lean → "question you didn't ask"
3.0 q23: Poop or vexillology

Max possible: 29.5 points


Top 50 Stories (Weighted)

Rank Score Old Key Hits Headline
1 20.0 15 q20,q21,q22,q5 A costly plan will keep a steel plant in JD Vance's hometown running. Locals are aghast
2 19.5 15 q20,q21,q22,q5 Colorado's prosperity — on the brink
3 18.0 13 q20,q21,q5,q9 Wall Street Has a Major Problem With AI Data Centers
4 18.0 14 q21,q22,q5 IMO Negotiating Evacuation Corridor for Seafarers
5 18.0 14 q21,q22,q5,q12 Bill Maher Addresses Mark Twain Prize Drama
6 18.0 14 q20,q21,q22,q5 Are New York's Environmental Concerns Worsening a Housing Shortage?
7 17.5 13 q20,q21,q22,q5 Bill in state legislature would put large apartment projects in single-family neighborhoods
8 17.0 13 q21,q5,q9,q12 How AI giants tried to storm the last stronghold of the human mind: the math olympiads
9 17.0 13 q21,q22,q5,q12 Opinion: White House 'gamifying' Iran war updates
10 17.0 13 q21,q5,q9,q12,q13 Baseball is changing forever with robot ump challenges
11 17.0 13 q21,q22,q5 Adam Smith, Set to Music
12 16.0 12 q20,q21,q5 A teacher-free AI school is coming to Chicago, with tuition at $55,000 a year
13 16.0 12 q20,q22,q5 Florida judge faces discipline after asking black defendant "you ever chopped cotton before?"
14 15.5 12 q21,q5,q10 Italy investigates Sephora and Benefit over marketing skincare to children
15 15.0 12 q20,q21 Tough choices Liberty face as expansion draft looms — Breanna Stewart could be left unprotected
16 15.0 11 q21,q22,q5 Oil Surge Elicits Tough Love From Trump's Latin American Allies
17 15.0 12 q20,q22,q12 Supervisor Jackie Fielder in the hospital; City Hall hangs in the balance
18 15.0 12 q22,q5,q13 Florida AG challenges NFL to abolish Rooney Rule
19 15.0 12 q21,q5,q12 Law Seeks to Ban Public Officials From Making Polymarket Bets on Upcoming Bloodshed
20 15.0 11 q21,q22,q5,q12 'The AI Doc' Review: A timely crash course on the tech dominating our lives
21 15.0 11 q21,q22,q5 Ominous Surveillance "Scarecrows" Appearing Across America
22 15.0 11 q20,q21,q22,q5 List of Celebrities Speaking at Flagship 'No Kings' Event in Minnesota
23 14.5 11 q21,q22,q5 The Playbook That Elon Musk Relies On to Make His Wild Ideas Work
24 14.5 11 q21,q22,q5 A Toothless Iran? Missile and Drone Strikes Show It Can Still Inflict Pain
25 14.5 11 q20,q22,q5 Shocking video catches LA 'No Kings' protesters using brutal tactics to attack cops
26 14.5 11 q21,q22,q5 China Is Rapidly Overtaking the United States as the World's Scientific Superpower
27 14.5 11 q21,q22,q5 Rubio says Iran war to last 'weeks not months;' no U.S. ground troops needed
28 14.5 11 q21,q22,q5 Watchdog blasts BBC, CNN, NYT for applying 'war crime' label almost exclusively to US, Israel
29 14.0 10 q21,q5,q9 NASA begins final countdown for first crewed moon mission in more than 50 years
30 14.0 11 q21,q22 Iran-linked hackers breach FBI director's personal email
31 14.0 11 q21,q5,q13 Eagle helps Nelly Korda grab lead at Ford Championship
32 14.0 11 q21,q22 After ceasefire, US may count on Japan to clear mines in Strait of Hormuz
33 14.0 11 q22,q5 Understanding why some Iranian Americans support the war on their country of origin
34 14.0 11 q22,q5 Republican Congressional deference to Trump is in fact democratic
35 14.0 11 q20,q21 Crossing the line: Emotional abuse in college sports
36 14.0 11 q22,q5,q12 Jimmy Kimmel refuses to back down after mocking Secretary Mullin over plumbing background
37 14.0 11 q20,q21,q12 Zohran Mamdani was pitched to 'SNL,' but they passed for someone funny
38 13.5 10 q20,q22,q23 LA's homeless crisis hits shocking new low — here's what The Post found in the drain
39 13.5 10 q21,q22,q5 Analysis: A new oil shock is building. The next few weeks of war will be decisive
40 13.5 10 q20,q21,q22 NYC Underground Railroad site endangered by proposed tower next door
41 13.0 10 q21,q22,q5 Meet The First Female Astronaut About To Go To The Moon
42 13.0 11 q20,q12 Shocking moment BMW driver gets into vicious road rage fight with pro cyclist
43 13.0 10 q22,q5 US embassy in Mexico prompts outrage with AI video promoting 'self-deportation'
44 13.0 10 q21,q5 Logan Paul sold a Pokémon card for more than $16 million
45 13.0 10 q20,q22 He wants children's bikes made in the U.S.A. — and tariffs against his rivals
46 13.0 9 q21,q5,q9 SpaceX's Gwynne Shotwell Aims to Put AI on the Moon
47 13.0 10 q22,q5 Some Dems' 2028 strategy: a straight, white, Christian man
48 13.0 10 q22,q5 Russia gets resolution through U.N. rights council, in first since 2022
49 13.0 9 q23,q9,q12 Astronauts excited for alone time on space toilet ahead of Artemis II trip
50 12.5 10 q10,q5,q13 Gamecocks land OL recruit with no football chops

Stories with High-Value Hits

Science Meets Absurdity (q9 = 2 pts)

Score Headline
18.0 Wall Street Has a Major Problem With AI Data Centers
17.0 How AI giants tried to storm the last stronghold of the human mind: the math olympiads
17.0 Baseball is changing forever with robot ump challenges
14.0 NASA begins final countdown for first crewed moon mission
13.0 SpaceX's Gwynne Shotwell Aims to Put AI on the Moon
13.0 Astronauts excited for alone time on space toilet

Poop or Vexillology (q23 = 3 pts)

Score Headline
13.5 LA's homeless crisis hits shocking new low — here's what The Post found in the drain
13.0 Astronauts excited for alone time on space toilet

Comedy/Media Craft (q12 = 1 pt)

Score Headline
18.0 Bill Maher Addresses Mark Twain Prize Drama
17.0 Opinion: White House 'gamifying' Iran war updates
17.0 Baseball is changing forever with robot ump challenges
17.0 How AI giants tried to storm the last stronghold of the human mind
15.0 Law Seeks to Ban Public Officials From Making Polymarket Bets
14.0 Jimmy Kimmel refuses to back down after mocking Secretary Mullin
14.0 Zohran Mamdani was pitched to 'SNL,' but they passed for someone funny

Score Distribution (Weighted)

Range Count Bar
20-24 1
15-19 21 █████████████████████
10-14 88 ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
5-9 96 ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
0-4 147 ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
-5-0 37 █████████████████████████████████████

Statistics:

  • Max: 20.0
  • Min: -3.0
  • Mean: 5.9
  • Stories ≥15: 22 (5.2%)
  • Stories ≥10: 109 (25.7%)

Weight Impact Analysis

Biggest score gains from weighted formula:

Story Old→New Gain Why
JD Vance steel plant 15→20 +5.0 Triple bonus (q20,q21,q22) + etymology
Colorado prosperity 15→19.5 +4.5 Triple bonus + etymology
AI Data Centers 13→18 +5.0 science-absurdity + triple bonus
Space toilet story 9→13 +4.0 q23 poop bonus + science-absurdity

Fetch Method Distribution

Method % Notes
WebSearch ~75% Primary fallback
WebFetch ~20% Direct fetch
Playwright MCP ~3% Browser needed
Summary only ~2% All methods failed

Generated by Claude Code + gist-story-ranker MCP

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