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@wassname
Last active April 4, 2025 22:55
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It turns out LLM's can generate the STOP DOING MATH meme https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/stop-doing-math

STOP DOING MATH

  • NUMBERS WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GIVEN NAMES
  • YEARS OF COUNTING yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for going higher than your FINGERS
  • Wanted to go higher anyway for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called "GUESSING"
  • "Yes please give me ZERO of something. Please give me INFINITE of it" - Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged

LOOK at what Mathematicians have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the calculators & abacus we built for them

(This is REAL Math, done by REAL Mathematicians):

[fig1 of a complex surface ???] [fig2 of a more complex surface ????] [fig3 of a hyper shape ?????????]

"Hello I would like [graph] apples please"

They have played us for absolute fools

STOP DOING THEORY

  • Thought about ATOMS for MILLENNIA but couldn't even find an ELECTRON
  • AI? More like "Aye, I didn't see the SCALING HYPOTHESIS coming!"
  • Wanted FLIGHT? Theorists be like: "Maybe we just flap real hard?"
  • "I've mathed out the perfect STEAM ENGINE!" - Said no one ever before actually building it.

LOOK at the grand THEORIES they've been touting:

  • TIMELESS DECISION THEORY
  • SEMANTIC GRAPH
  • PROVABLY SAFE AGI

(This is REAL Thoery, done by REAL Theorizers):

"According to my calculations, this metaphor for a bird should definitely fly." Reality: "Hold my beer."

They have played us for absolute fools

STOP THEORIZING WITHOUT TESTING

  • YEARS OF RESEARCH and yet MOST BREAKTHROUGHS come from ACCIDENTAL EXPERIMENTS
  • "Let's try it out on paper first" - Said every researcher before their theory got debunked by a simple test
  • "My model predicts X" but REALITY shows Y. Yet, they WON'T BUDGE.

LOOK at the grand THEORIES they've been touting:

  • TIMELESS DECISION THEORY
  • Distinction Graphs and Graphtropy
  • AIXI

(This is REAL Thoery, done by REAL Theorizers):

"Hello, based on my calculations, this should work" Yet it spectacularly fails in practice

They have played us for absolute fools

@wassname
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wassname commented Nov 7, 2024

STOP DOING BOOKS

  • Spent MILLENNIA on SCROLLS then suddenly "Oh just BIND some PAGES!"
  • "Let's write a 1000-page THEORY tome!" - While the 20-page paper had everything
  • Published MILLIONS of books but can't match ORAL TRADITION's memorability
  • "Yes this needs TWELVE VOLUMES to explain" - Claims by the academically POSSESSED

LOOK at what PUBLISHERS push as "essential reading":

  • INFINITE JEST
  • GÖDEL ESCHER BACH
  • CRYPTONOMICON
    (This is REAL Literature, done by REAL Writers):
    "According to my footnotes, you need these other five books to understand this one"
    They have played us for ABSOLUTE FOOLS

STOP DOING FOOD SCIENCE

  • Obsessed with NUTRIENTS for DECADES but can't beat GRANDMA'S RECIPES
  • "Let's MOLECULARLY GASTRONOMY everything!" - While peasant food feeds billions
  • OPTIMIZED DIETS? More like "Optimized Confusion!"
  • "I've scientifically formulated the perfect meal!" - Said no one enjoying their dinner

LOOK at their NUTRITIONAL THEORIES:

  • SOYLENT
  • OPTIMAL PROTEIN TIMING
  • CHRONOBIOLOGY OF DIGESTION
    (This is REAL Nutrition, done by REAL Scientists):
    "According to my metabolic calculations, this should be delicious." Reality: "Pass the butter."

STOP DOING SCIFI

  • Predicted FLYING CARS but missed SMARTPHONES
  • "Let's add MORE QUANTUM to everything!" - While missing social media's impact
  • Space Opera? More like "Space NOPE-ra!"
  • "I've extrapolated the future perfectly!" - Said every author before reality proved wilder

LOOK at their PREDICTIONS:

  • VACUUM TUBE COMPUTERS IN SPACE
  • MARTIAN COLONIES BY 2000
  • HUMANOID ROBOTS EVERYWHERE
    (This is REAL SciFi, done by REAL Futurists):
    "According to my worldbuilding, we should have FTL by now" Reality: "Best I can do is Twitter"
    They have played us for ABSOLUTE FOOLS

Want more topics? Can cover: rationality, genetics, programming languages, or transhumanism.

Knowledge limits: Some references intentionally exaggerated for satirical effect.

@wassname
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wassname commented Nov 7, 2024

STOP DOING MACHINE LEARNING

  • YEARS OF TRAINING yet still can't tell a CHINCHILLA from a BERT
  • "Let's just add more LAYERS" - Solution to every ML problem ever
  • Wanted better results? Just throw MORE PARAMETERS at it!
  • "Yes please give me INFINITE compute. What do you mean that's not realistic?" - ML Researchers

LOOK at what ML Engineers have been claiming all this time:
[fig1 of a confusion matrix that's mostly wrong] [fig2 of a loss curve going nowhere] [fig3 of a model hallucinating]

"Hello I would like [TOKEN_NOT_FOUND] please"
They have played us for ABSOLUTE FOOLS


STOP DOING TRANSFORMERS

  • Attention is all you need? More like COMPUTATION is all you waste!
  • Built a 100B parameter model but still can't remember what you said 2 minutes ago
  • "Let's make the context window BIGGER" - Said every researcher before their GPU melted
  • Self-attention? More like self-delusion!

LOOK at the grand ARCHITECTURES they've been promoting:
(This is REAL AI, done by REAL AI Researchers):

  • MIXTURE OF EXPERTS (that are all equally wrong)
  • ROTARY EMBEDDINGS (just spinning in circles)
  • FLASH ATTENTION (because regular attention wasn't fast enough to be wrong)

"According to my calculations, this should be coherent."
Output: "The purple elephant drives democracy through photosynthesis."
They have played us for ABSOLUTE FOOLS


STOP DOING ALIGNMENT

  • YEARS OF PHILOSOPHY but can't even align their own SLEEP SCHEDULE
  • "Let's make it learn our values!" Can't even define what values ARE
  • Wanted safe AI? Best we can do is "pretty please don't be evil"

"Yes please give me PERFECT RATIONALITY. What do you mean humans aren't rational?" - Alignment Researchers

LOOK at what they've been promising:
[fig1 of a utility function that's just "???" ] [fig2 of a safety framework full of holes] [fig3 of a reward model crying]

"Hello I would like [UNDEFINED_HUMAN_VALUES] please"
They have played us for ABSOLUTE FOOLS


STOP WRITING BOOKS

  • CENTURIES OF LITERATURE yet still can't agree on what "THE CURTAINS WERE BLUE" means
  • "This book will change your life!" - Said about every book ever written
  • Wanted to learn something? Here's 500 pages when 5 would do!
  • "Yes please give me ANOTHER trilogy that never ends" - Publishers

LOOK at what Authors have been selling us:
[fig1 of a plot diagram that's just a scribble] [fig2 of a character arc that's a flat line] [fig3 of a theme that's just "society bad"]
"Hello I would like [METAPHOR_NOT_FOUND] please"
They have played us for ABSOLUTE FOOLS


STOP DOING HUMANS

  • MILLENNIA OF EVOLUTION just to spend all day looking at SCREENS
  • "Let's optimize for survival" - Proceeds to invent SOCIAL MEDIA
  • Wanted to communicate better? Created MEETINGS
  • "Yes please give me MORE PRODUCTIVITY APPS" - Said everyone before doing nothing

LOOK at what we've been celebrating:
[fig1 of a brain mostly thinking about memes] [fig2 of a productivity graph going down] [fig3 of a motivation chart in the negatives]

"Hello I would like [BASIC_LIFE_SKILLS.exe not found] please"
We have played ourselves for ABSOLUTE FOOLS

@TheParmak
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apparently very very smart people would just find themselves creating these with utter joy at 3am lol

@jenrzzz
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jenrzzz commented Apr 4, 2025

STOP DOING RECURSION

• FUNCTIONS WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO CALL THEMSELVES

• YEARS OF NESTING yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for going deeper than THREE STACK FRAMES

• Wanted to go deeper anyway for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called "ITERATION"

• "Yes please give me BASE CASE of something. Please give me INFINITE STACK OVERFLOW of it" - Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged

LOOK at what Computer Scientists have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the compilers & IDEs we built for them (This is REAL Recursion, done by REAL Programmers):

[INCOMPREHENSIBLE FIBONACCI TREE]

?????

[INSCRUTABLE MERGE SORT]

???????

[MIND-MELTING TOWERS OF HANOI]

???????????????

"Hello I would like n + factorial(n-1) apples please"

They have played us for absolute fools​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

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